


That Time Of Year

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-13
Updated: 2005-09-13
Packaged: 2019-01-19 22:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12419844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Christmas shopping is always a hassle. Christmas shopping with your two closest friends for a present for your wife, on your first Christmas together? Oh that’s always worse.James was always intelligent when it came to spells, enchantments and hexes. Not so much in the Why These Blokes Are My Friends area, though.





	That Time Of Year

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

There was snow. It was usual for this time of year, of course, but there seemed to be so much more of it. Delis, bakeries, and small clothing shops were snowed out during their busiest time of the year. This morning had a good hour or so allotted to shovelling out the pathways to their front doors. It seemed that every time the workers made a good way down the path, the part they had shovelled got snowed in.

But then again, Sirius had always been an ass at school, so why stop when out of it?

He sat on a bench somewhere in downtown London, in the spot where James told him and Remus to meet for shopping. He slouched on the bench (which he had cleared of snow), idly playing with his wand, idly causing shop owners more stress.

All in a day, it seemed.

Christmas carols played around the young man’s head, each more annoying, yet catchier, than the last. He hummed along with ‘Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer’ and attempted to merge it with ‘Let It Snow’.

He got more odd looks from the Muggles passing by than he deemed necessary.

Nevertheless, he continued.

Another store nearby began playing ‘Little Drummer Boy’, causing Sirius to tirelessly add it into the mix. He didn’t know why they were in Muggle London to shop, if Sirius was honest with himself. Perhaps James had combed the entire Wizarding community for his wife’s present and come up empty handed. Though, Sirius chuckled to himself, James had probably bought her a million gifts, but just hadn’t found the <i>right</i> one.

That is why he sat on a bench in London, on his own, casting spells on the pavement for never-ending snow, and humming damn Christmas songs – three at a time. Thankfully, he was given a distraction.

Remus plopped down on the bench beside him, copying his slouched position.

“Been here long?” the werewolf asked, deciding on crossing a leg rather than sitting with them wide open. Remus was more of a gentleman than Sirius.

Sirius shrugged, but stopped humming for the sake of his friend. “I think I could write my own Christmas song,” he said.

“You already have,” Remus pointed out, crossing his arms and resting his head back. “Fifth year, James’ house for Christmas?”

“Oh right.”

“The one about your mum and Kreacher,” Remus continued as Sirius chuckled, “and what you got when they mixed with Firewhiskey spiked eggnog.”

“That was a great song,” Sirius agreed, although Remus had made no such comment. “How did it go?”

“I really don’t remember,” Remus said dismissively, “It’s only the images that haunt my memory.”

“That’s also the Christmas that James sent Lily her first Christmas present, right?” Sirius asked, scratching his head.

“No, that was sixth year,” Remus said with a shake of his head. “Bloody disaster, that was.” Looking around, Remus sighed. “What’s he getting her this year?”

“Bugger me if I know,” Sirius responded, absentmindedly bouncing his leg to keep warm.

Amongst the growing throng of shopping Muggles, one man was visible as he jumped up and down, waving his arms. The man, dressed in a thick yellow winter coat, called to his friends.

“Let’s pretend we don’t know him,” Sirius muttered, looking the opposite way. “Yellow is <i>not</i> his colour.”

“I don’t care about the coat,” Remus mumbled. “It’s the fact he’s shouting ‘I found the place!’ and hitting Muggles as he yells our names.”

Their plan didn’t end so well. James stopped in front of them, panting, his breath clouding in the air before being whisked away.

“Did you not hear me calling you?” James asked, frowning as his friends still wouldn’t look at him.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, silently debating who should break the news to their friend.

With a kick in the shin from Remus, Sirius gave in. “Oh we heard, we just thought you were that escapee from St. Mungo’s.”

Not quite the words Remus would use, true, but it got the point across. “More or less,” he said.

“But mostly more,” Sirius added, getting up and stretching.

“Way more,” Remus nodded. Remus stood as well but did not stretch. “What place did you find, by the way?”

James’ face lit up (quite the opposite of the dull glare he had previously been giving them) and he smiled. “Well, I was looking through a magazine of Lily’s, and I realised what I was to get her.” He stopped for a dramatic pause.

Remus and Sirius looked left, then right. “Are we supposed to guess?” Remus asked slowly.

“Oh… no, not at all. I was being, I don’t know, theatrical,” James said with a shrug and blush that he hoped the others would think was from the cold. “But come on, it took me many maps to find this place and I made sure I knew where it was before I got you two.”

“Oh, is that why you were late?” Remus asked mildly.

“We were beginning to think that Lily wouldn’t let you leave,” said Sirius in the same tone, “being her slave muffin, and all.”

James’ ears turned pink, and he motioned them to follow him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The three men weaved through the bundled-up crowds of mid-morning shoppers. They waited at a crosswalk for the little crosswalk man to appear.

“But now we see that all morning was spent dressing you up for your special outing,” Remus said, barely holding in a chuckle.

Sirius snorted beside him, “Yea, we like the outfit, Prongs.” Remus couldn’t hold in a laugh. “Did you always have your mittens attached to your coat?” He tugged on a loop of multicoloured yarn that dangled from James’ sleeve.

James pulled his arm away from his laughing friends. “Lily’s been practicing her knitting since we’ve found out that she’s pregnant,” James stated matter-of-factly. “And in her mind that entitles me to wear them.”

“So she sewed them onto your sleeves?” laughed Sirius, wiping his eyes.

James started crossing the street with the other people and Remus had to give Sirius a shove to get him walking. They caught up with their friend and held back their laughter for the poor bloke’s sake.

“Where is this place?” Remus asked once they were a few streets away from their meeting spot. “And why would we meet so far from our destination?”

James, it seemed, didn’t have an answer, so he decided to change the subject. “Now, it’s not a normal place that we regularly go shopping, so please try not to make fools of yourselves.” He stopped by a lamppost from which a wreathe hung and swayed in the light wind.

Sirius donned an injured and defensive look. “Why do you look at me when you say that?”

“Who should I be looking at?” James asked with an eyebrow raised.

Looking at Remus, who did not help, Sirius sighed, “Me.”

James led them up a few concrete steps to an old shop. The wooden windowpanes and door were painted dark red and in the window display cases were…

“Lingerie?” Remus and Sirius said in unison.

“What do you mean we don’t usually shop here?” asked Sirius indignantly. “I shop here everyday.” Remus took one step to the left, away from his friend.

James turned around and opened the door for them. “Then you should know the place well enough to help me look for things.”

Sirius, head held high, walked on into the store with Remus following him hesitantly. James entered behind the two, letting the door close quietly so as not to attract attention from the other shoppers or sales ladies.

The chiming of a bell thwarted his plan.

Nearly every head turned towards the three men: one gazing around with an amused look, another absently taking off his mitts (that then hung by his side), and the last looking unsure of the whole idea.

“Well let’s get shopping,” said the one with the amused look.

“Can I help you gentlemen?”

The three men turned around and saw an aging lady waiting politely for a response, hands clasped before her Christmas tree patterned skirt.

“Er, yes,” James said uncertainly. “I’m looking for a present for my wife…”

“Are you looking for something revealing, tight, lacy, mesh, or possibly a chemise?” the sales lady listed. “We have many more, of course.”

“Revealing,” Sirius answered resolutely, “and tight.”

“Actually, I think I might just browse before I ask for assistance,” James told the woman, pushing Sirius to the right side of the store. Remus nodded to the woman and followed.

“When you need assistance, just ask for Darlene.”

“Will do!” Sirius called. He turned to James from amidst the racks of pyjamas. “We had to come to <i>muggle</i> London for lingerie?” Sirius said quietly. “The Wizarding world has a couple stores that I’m <i>sure</i> you’d find something in.”

“I didn’t want anything magical,” James said evasively.

“He didn’t want to be recognised,” Remus translated.

“No, not that-”

“Oh, I get it now,” Sirius interrupted his best friend. “James, half our world knows you and Lily are married, thanks to the lovely announcement your mother put in the <i>Prophet</i>.”

“Yes, why hasn’t she put one in about the pregnancy? Lily’s already a month into it,” Remus added conversationally.

James forgot about Sirius’ mocking tone and answered Remus’ question. He began by rolling his eyes, “She thinks it’s too early. We’ve only been married for six or so months, and we’re nearly twenty years-old.”

“And getting married at nineteen isn’t hasty?” Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

James mumbled something while examining a penguin patterned, light blue pyjama set.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that, did you Moony?” Sirius asked, looking to Remus. The shocked, yet humoured smile on Remus’ face answered his question. “What’d he say?” he asked immediately.

“You <i>didn’t</i>?” Remus asked in surprise. James nodded. “I must say I’m impressed.”

“What did he do?”

“Thank you, Remus,” James said oddly, but there was a touch of pride in his voice.

“Why are you impressed?”

“My mother thought we were being careless youngsters with the whole sex thing,” James said slowly. “We weren’t really <i>careless</i>. It’s more the fact that we broke the Contraceptive charms…”

Sirius’ mouth dropped before he gained his senses and clapped James on the back. “I never thought you’d be that good, Prongs.”

Clearing his throat to get back to the matter at hand, James said, “Right, now that that’s established, we have the task of finding Lily a gift…” James left the section they were in and headed to the other side of the small store, excusing himself past a couple who were examining different oils.

“So you’re obviously not looking for pyjamas or a bathrobe,” Remus said slowly, eyes shifting about the store as James perused a wall where many types of panties where displayed.

“Of course not, Moony. You don’t come to a place like this for slippers,” Sirius said, an impish tone to his voice. “He’s looking for the type of gift that shows that, yes, he loves her for her personality, mind, inner beauty and intelligence, but what he loves most is her body. The kind of gift that’ll be opened <i>after</i> the guests leave, but will still be used Christmas Eve…”

“Thank you for giving away my most inner thoughts,” James said flatly, comparing two red bras. “Which one is better, the lacy one,” - he shook the bra in his left hand - “or the satin?” - he shook the other.

“Oh <i>that’s</i> why we’re here!” Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “And here I was thinking you wanted us to try <i>on</i> the clothes like last time.”

James’ face went white as Remus’ turned pink. Throughout the store, voices quieted down and the other customers tried to catch a response from either of the muted men.

“N-no,” James stuttered while Remus put a hand over his face. “Not like last time.”

Sirius snorted and walked away with a shake of his head, heading toward some more racy outfits.

“I don’t think he got the message about making a fool of himself,” Remus spoke up as he heard Sirius say loudly;

“Hey James - this one comes with a blindfold!”

“At all,” Remus finished.

A couple of girls entered the store with a ting of the bell. They giggled their way to where Sirius was situated, apparently knowing what they wanted, as one picked up the same design Sirius held. Seeing Sirius start a conversation with the two using his flirtatious smile, James sighed and went to his best friend.

“Sirius, we’re here to shop for <i>me</i>, remember that,” he muttered so the girls wouldn’t hear.

The smiles on the girl’s faces dropped somewhat. “Oh I’m sorry,” the blonde one said, “we didn’t know you two were together…”

“No, no!” Sirius interrupted, hands waving in front of him. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh no, it’s alright,” the blonde’s friend smiled, “you and your… <i>life partner</i> have a Happy Christmas.” Pushing her friend towards a laughing Remus was, the blonde nodded goodbye.

“Not only did you come at the wrong time and say the wrong thing,” began Sirius, “but they’re now talking to the wrong <i>guy</i>.” He gestured towards where the girls were now talking with Remus.

“Karma, Padfoot, its all karma,” James smiled, not fazed by any thoughts the girls had of him. He already had a wife. “Now let’s continue our hunt for Lily’s present.”

The two men debated over undergarments for a few minutes (as Remus was still chatting with the girls; Sirius sent him glares once in a while) before Darlene, the sales associate, went over to them.

“Have you gentlemen found anything?”

“Actually yes,” James began, “I was looking at this set.” He held up a black bra with mesh to cover the stomach, and a matching panty. “But I was just looking for her size…”

“And what size is she?” Darlene asked kindly, moving forward to the rack where the set resided.

“I believe a 34B,” James cast a look to Sirius, who had a humoured eyebrow raised, “and a medium for the bottom part…”

Darlene flipped through the hangers and clucked her tongue. “We seem to be out of those sizes… if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go check the back.”

“Of course,” James nodded, and the woman went towards the back end of the store.

“You know her exact sizes?” Sirius asked immediately.

“Well she <i>is</i> my wife,” James said a tad defensively. “Her under-things <i>are</i> in my room.”

“You went through her <i>underwear drawer</i>?” Sirius asked in amazement. “You fingered through each of them, making sure the size was right, didn’t you?”

“Our underwear drawer is the <i>same</i>, thank you,” James said, waiting a little less than patiently for Darlene to return.

Remus had chosen this opportunity to join his friends and their conversation. “Not that I’d assume talk of a different sort in a store like this, but it’s still a little awkward.”

“Wait, wait,” Sirius ignored Remus’ statement, “so you touch her underwear every<i>day</i>?”

“Twice daily, if he showers that day,” Remus put in, guessing their conversation.

“Nearly every night, too,” James said with a wink right before Darlene entered their hearing range.

“Sorry about the wait-”

“Not a problem,” Sirius interrupted.

“But I found the sizes you were looking for.” Darlene held up a few different colours. “Now, what colour are your wife’s hair, eyes and complexion?”

“She has beautiful dark red hair,” James began, eyes already looking distant, “these gorgeous green eyes and the softest pale skin…”

“You think he knows we’re still here?” Remus whispered to Sirius from the corner of his mouth.

“I don’t think he knows <i>he’s</i> here,” Sirius responded with a smirk.

“Hm, I’m not sure about the black then,” Darlene said with expertise, “I’m sure she’d look lovely in either the dark green here,” she handed James said set, “or the red. Oddly enough, red fits most red-heads almost perfectly each time.”

“I don’t know…” James held up the green and faced his friends. “Which do you think, guys?”

Remus and Sirius both put a hand to their chins, smiles slowly growing on their faces. Remus tilted his head to the side, and Sirius reached forward and shifted the height at which the panties were set from the bra.

“Yes, that’s more accurate,” Remus muttered, squinting his eyes. “I’d say the red.”

“As would I,” Sirius agreed.

“That’s what I thought,” said James, sending his friends a quick frown.

“Would you like me to gift wrap that for you?” Darlene asked, putting the green set away.

“That would be lovely,” James nodded to her, and then turned to his friends once she left. “I’m going to ignore the fact that you two were obviously picturing my wife in those,” he started with a touch of annoyance in his voice, “but only because I asked you to choose one. But what you didn’t have to do was smile as you did.”

Both the grins on his friend’s faces grew. “Well, I only thought it humorous that you were asking us to picture your wife in them,” Remus admitted.

“Oh, I was smiling for an entirely different reason,” Sirius confessed, without a hint of shame.

“Bastard,” James muttered, heading to the cash.

“I assure you that, even though not the head of the house, my father was present during my childhood,” Sirius stated, watching as James still struggled to remember the correct usage of Muggle money.

Darlene wished the three men goodnight, and they left the store. Once outside, James handed Sirius the bag and proceeded to put on his mitts.

“These things are so handy,” he muttered quietly, using the string to pull the mittens up. He took the bag from Sirius and the three walked down the concrete steps and back onto the sidewalk.

“I can’t believe you’re going to be a father come summer,” Sirius said with a shake of his head, squinting in the noon sun.

The sky was slightly overcast, but the sun was left uncovered. Flakes of snow descended upon the city of London, adding to the feeling of yuletide.

“And I can’t believe Lily agreed to making you godfather,” Remus said seriously.

“Actually, I can’t believe she got James to wear a coat that bright yellow on such a sunny day,” Sirius mused, stuffing his hands into his black jacket pockets.

“I find it a bit unbelievable that he agreed to wear it,” Remus joked, pulling a brown toque from his pocket and stuffing it on his head.

“Oh I don’t,” Sirius said with a shake of his head, ignoring the tired sigh from James, “he is her slave muffin, you know.”

“<i>Where</i> did you hear that?” James burst out suddenly. “We’ve never said such a thing.”

“Oh haven’t you?” Sirius countered with amusement. “Do you remember, Remus?”

“I’d never forget,” Remus concurred, shaking his head. “Does the first Christmas present you sent Lily ring a bell?”

“What – oh,” James had the dignity to be embarrassed. “Let’s not bring that up, hm?”

“Prongs, you baked her muffins,” Remus chuckled.

“<i>And</i> you wrote a letter on each of them,” Sirius laughed. “Do you remember what you wrote?”

“I believe I said we wouldn’t bring it up-”

“You wrote, all together,” Sirius began before Remus joined in, “<i>‘I am your slave muffin’</i>.” Both of them laughed. Sirius continued, “In capital letters and everything.”

“That’s eighteen muffins, James,” Remus said in a pitying tone. “And how many did she send back?”

“Eighteen,” Sirius answered for James, “but changed the letters to, <i>‘You dim arrogant fool’</i>.

“And is there a point to this entire day that has been declared, unbeknownst to me, James Is A Fool Day?” James asked sarcastically, crossing the street towards the Leaky Cauldron. “If there is, I’d really like to know what it was.”

“Yea, actually,” Remus nodded. “We only want to secure our seats at your dinner table on Christmas Eve.” They stepped into the old, musty pub full of witches and wizards. “So are we in?”

“We’ve taken all the precautionary actions,” Sirius said with a shrug.

Giving his friends one last glare, James muttered, “See you both Christmas Eve.” He Disapparated.

“Still coming over to bake muffins for Prongs’ Christmas gift?” Remus asked Sirius, taking off his toque and shaking his head.

“Of course – why would I miss the chance to embarrass James on his first Christmas with Lily?” Sirius smiled and patted Remus on the back. “We’re evil, but I’d have it no other way. See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow it is.”

They both Disapparated.

Back over by the bench where Sirius had sat a couple hours prior; shop owners and their staffs stared at their walkways in wonder and disgust, wondering why they couldn’t just <i>shovel</i> the damn things and get it over with. A few gave up and declared it a day off, hoping it’d all be better the next day. Which it would, as Sirius would remember later that evening and go rushing back to the area and fix all the charms, laughing about the whole thing.

But of course, it was just that time of year.


End file.
